


The truth comes out: Dimitri FUCKS?!

by BloomTwist



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Comedy, Denial of Feelings, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Feelings Realization, Hilda is shameless, M/M, Other, Sex, Sex Magic, Sex complex, Slutmitri, pinning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25907764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloomTwist/pseuds/BloomTwist
Summary: After successfully defending Derdriu, Sylvain is enjoying the festivities when he learns something that turns his world upside down. Now he's in for the ride, as he and his friends discover what Dimitri has really been up to. Or rather,who.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan/Dedue Molinaro, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Everyone, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Mention of other minor pairings
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32
Collections: FE3H Kink Meme





	The truth comes out: Dimitri FUCKS?!

**Author's Note:**

> Kinkmeme fill! From this hilarious prompt!  
> https://3houseskinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/476.html?thread=1164252  
> Post-Derdriu, the Blue Lions and Byleth accidentally discover that Dimitri is somehow getting laid, a lot, to their confusion (and Claude's amusement)  
> Bonus if his partner is someone completely unexpected like...idk...Lysithea/Lindhardt/Hilda (aka class recruits and people he can't S-Support with, Claude while pretending he's just as shocked, etc.). Or maybe it's more than one person and Sylvain is devastated. Go wild with it, I'm looking for comedy but you can make it your own/as steamy as you want.

It's the celebration after rescuing Derdriu. Sylvain likes the boisterousness, and the low cuts dresses on the ladies of the Alliance. The beer and food flows endlessly for a city that hours before had the Empire's sword at its throat. He wonders if Derdriu's gratitude extends to the bed of their ladies. It'd be a fun way to end the night.  
  
Not that some people need that to enjoy the festivities. Dimitri's crystalline laugh is a wonder, and many turn their heads towards the Crowned prince of Faerghus.  
  
He looks good out of his armor, Sylvain concludes. The lighter clothes he's wearing are no less imposing, but they emphasize his chest, waist and legs in a way he had never appreciated before. His face is flushed a bit by the heat or the alcohol, but all his attention and joy is directed to Dedue, Judith and their conversation.  
  
He's unfairly handsome. Maybe it's just the fact that he's never heard Dimitri laugh with such freedom and genuine joy, but Sylvain can't help but keep stealing glances back at his king.  
  
By the shameless stare Hilda is throwing his King, Sylvain isn’t the only one. What he doesn't expect is her assessment.  
  
"Oh that's the postcoital bliss!"  
  
Ingrid chokes on her beer mid sip, and it's more out of habit than anything else that has Sylvain palming her back.  
  
"W- what?!" she hisses, and Sylvain knows that tone. It's the one she uses in the face of Sylvain's most egregious indecencies.  
  
"Someone bedded the boar?" Felix immediately growls incredulous and tight with something. Something Sylvain has learned never to poke. Repressed sexual and emotional desires aren't his specialty. "What a joke."  
  
Alright, time to turn off that fire before it can explode. "Sorry to break it to you Hilda, but His Highness is still very much a virginal..."  
  
"Yup that's the post blowjob face. A great one too!" Hilda, the fearless woman, interrupts, and looks back at Claude "...that means you're out Claude."  
  
"Ow, you wound me Hilda!" he exclaims, hand on heart and fitting wounded face. There's is still mischief in those green eyes so Sylvain still isn't sure if they are having fun at their expense, or, and here Sylvain starts to have something akin to dread, they are –Hilda is, serious.  
  
Claude continues, "I could have been the one, and this is a long lasting effect!"  
  
Hilda snorts, and takes a sip of her beer. "If you are as good as giving head as going down on a woman, I doubt it."  
  
Ingrid's face is reaching tomato red levels, and Sylvain laments being far away from Felix. He won't be able to stop him if things go to hell.  
  
"Slander! I made you come three times!"  
  
Felix's frown sharpens. Sylvain starts looking for plausible exits. It doesn't matter if those two are just joking around. He isn't enough of an adult to deal when his friends realize that people casually talk about sex –or that they speculate about another's sex life- thank you very much.  
  
Hilda waves her hand. "Dimitri's tongue is far better, and his technique has improved a lot too."  
  
The escape plan goes out of the window at those words, and the horrifying realization sets in. Sylvain can barely hear what Felix hisses, too lost in his own thought and the fact that Hilda and Dimitri... That Dimitri...  
  
"Dimitri fucks?!" he yelps. A manly yelp. Not a childish fearful one.  
  
"Yes. Regularly too," she confirms and stretches innocently in a way Sylvain knows it's fake and it's only used to try and gain something. "So strange... you kept saying he did not and I was starting to think it was all just a Faerghus fetish."  
  
Ingrid slams her hands on the table, "Fetish?"  
  
"Yes!" Hilda beams too pleased with herself. "The whole, _My prince is pure as the fallen snow! Not a single sexual sinful thought has ever dwelled in his beatific head_ kind of deal."  
  
Felix snarls. "We do _not_...!"  
  
"...But then I realized you are just dumb and not really close friends?"  
  
"Beg your pardon?!"  
  
Claude waves his hands. "Now, now! You're bullying the poor lions!"  
  
Hilda pouts, and complains mulishly. "But that's the truth."  
  
Ingrid glares sharply. "You…"  
  
Sylvain tries to get the conversation back to something safer and less barbed. "So you and His Highness..."  
  
"Not just 'me'," she clarifies with an unholy grin and Sylvain realizes he fell for her trap. What a terrible devious woman. "Stop being so surprised, the guy is pretty good and intense."  
  
He can add that to the things he never wanted to know about Dimitri. Just... how is this the same guy that five years ago ran to him for help because of an insistent woman? Dimitri is having sex. Having sex recently in fact, he doubts anyone wanted to approach him for such a purpose before he got his act together... right?  
  
"When?" he asks with dread. He never saw Dimitri when he was all up in his head. He was raging in the battlefield, but a morose lost man in a cathedral otherwise.  
  
"How?!" Ingrid stresses "You're not even close!"  
  
The emphasis on that last thing reeks personal, and Sylvain wonders if he should feel bad at how it didn't get him. He and Dimitri... they had been close. Once. Hilda's voice interrupts his musings.  
  
"Well, sitting on his face _is_ kind of therapeutic..."  
  
Felix chokes on his beer. Sylvain squints his eyes. His third beer. Since this whole thing started. Not good. He's no lightweight, but has the tendency to be a violent over sharer when drunk.  
  
"... We do talk sometimes but we are not really close _that_ way you know?" she continues, as if she's giving a lecture about how people don't need to be close to have sex. Something Sylvain had thought Ingrid and Felix knew just by their mere friendship with him. "I like Marianne."  
  
That however, seems to be the wrong choice of words. Ingrid bites her lip, green eyes furious and hisses "and yet you'll continue to... consummate with his Highness—"  
  
"... Oh _now_ I think I see why he didn't tell you!"  
  
"... Even though you are a taken woman?!" she finishes standing up.  
  
Few people look at their table, and Sylvain tugs her down. Dimitri, still fresh and joyful, looks their way, brows starting to furrow in concern and Sylvain gives him his best smile and waves him off. Out of all the conversations he doesn't want Dimitri to be a part of, this is the highest on the list. No matter how much he wants to know who did he… ugh.  
  
Dimitri's frown sharpens, and just as he's about to come over, Judith, who might have grown tired of the whole thing turns back and says something. Sylvain can't read her lips from this angle.  
  
Dimitri hesitates.  
  
Dedue inches closer to Dimitri and answers Judith. Just like that, Dimitri is back into their conversation.  
  
It stings. But Sylvain is used ignoring what hurts him.  
  
"Wow. What has you so pressed?" Hilda teases Ingrid with an air of innocence worthy of a Mittelfrank Opera performance, "It's not like he's going to feel lonely if one person leaves his packed bed."  
  
Felix slams his empty beer back on the table with a murderous glare. Sylvain should get on his case stat, but he's too busy is trying hard not to process packed bed, and sex, and Dimitri in the same sentence. The fact that such a thing might be true, and common knowledge for everyone else just...  
  
It really stings to not be let into that level of trust. He thought that his highness would at least share those kinds of details with him.  
  
Claude whistles. "Alright, story time from the beginning?"  
  
At the same time Felix sneers. "Just how did you end up with the boar?!"  
  
Hilda crosses her arms with a pout. "Wow, you're so rude. That's why no one likes you."  
  
Ingrid, bless her heart, grabs Felix by the arm before he can try and lunge at her. Sylvain will forever be grateful that at least one of them can be responsible during a crisis at all times.  
  
Claude snickers. "Oh c'mon Hilda. Cut him some slack," he says, purposely winking at Felix. "Give us the story time. We are all dying you hear you!"  
  
Flattery seems to work. Hilda grins smugly and takes another sip of her beer. "Well! Since you asked nicely, I guess that could be your parting gift."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this and welcome to comedy central! Next chapter tomorrow!
> 
> Make your bets and your lists! Who has Dimitri fucked? Who gave him a Blow Job before the festivities?


End file.
